Aging FAQ & Info

Caregiver Chronicals

“Its interesting, being a caregiver, often you are taking care of the founding figure in the family. Many times I have had participate as the host of holiday dinners, birthday parties, and sadly funeral gatherings. See, in my eyes I am here to assist with the need of a disabled person who needs me. In the eyes of the family that can mean so much more.

Mom’s are typically the glue of the family making sure everyone knows what event is going on, whose birthday is coming up, when a family reunion is taking place. I have had to recently help plan and coordinate her husbands funeral. This wasn’t asked of me by my patient, but I was looked to by her children like I was the one who would know best, as an extension of her.”

 – Marie Estutan, on her most moving moments on the job.


Tell me your most moving moments as a caregiver.


Senior living  / Home health care / Personal are home

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Keep In Mind

I Have Dementia,

My eyes do see,  My ears do hear

I am still me,  so lets be clear

My memory may fade, My wake may slow

I am ME inside, don’t let me go.


Author : Becky Bell


Senior living / Home health care / Personal care home / Senior care

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Edging the Danger Zone // Introduction

I’m Nadia & my 50 year old Mother was diagnosed with Early Onset Dementia almost 4 years ago. While at first the declination of her mind was rapid and scary, she has settled into her new life of stay at home full time Grandmother. This is my personal story of what it like each week as I edge closer to what I call the danger zone, the zone where my most cherished possessions on earth, My mother,  slips further away from the reality she created for me.

Currently, she is fully functional. She can drive, and be alone and isn’t a harm for herself or others. She does have episodes where we do need to calm her down and “wake” her out of a panic state. She is really good at telling us when she is at her wits end with her mental capacity. However, I think the biggest area I have noticed recently is the deterioration of logic in a situation where there are multiple things happening at once. She becomes fixated on a task that seems minuscule and outlandish in comparison to what really needs to be done. I’ve noticed that my family lacks the skills to redirect her back to something productive so her fixation gets played out completely and can sometimes last hours.

Recently, my siblings and I were organizing for Christmas. We live in San Diego and she wanted to have a nice pre Christmas feast because one of my older brothers were going to be out of town on the actual date. It had rained the night before and our gazebo out side had a pocket of water that was dripping.

As all of my siblings and I reorganized, cleaned and cooked the inside where our festivities would take place. She became fixated on the gazebo, getting all the water off and tying a tarp on to it so it wouldn’t happen again.

I wasn’t really watching her, so when I heard brother say,

“We live in San Diego, it hardly rains.”

Followed by my sister agreeing comment,

“It’s not like we are going to sit outside in the freezing cold for dinner”

I was intrigued to understand what she was doing. When I asked her, she explained how she wanted to make sure the gazebo didn’t drip so that when my brother walked to his room (he stayed in a guest house that was attached to the backyard from my parents house) his new born baby had reduced chances of getting wet.

It was a kind gesture and I think that acknowledging her concern is the first step in redirecting.  Then we discussed how Paisley, the baby, is always wrapped in blankets and is not outside for more than a few moments. I let her know what I was doing inside and how I could use her assistance. I think the biggest lesson for me was that before she agreed to come in and help me, I offered her my assistance and asked if I could help her in anyway on what she was doing. That gave her the opportunity to think between the two tasks and deduce which one was higher priority.

I didn’t tell her to stop what she was doing or that it wasn’t important. She decided that she should change tasks and that was the win for me.

It’s undeniable that my mother a Registered Nurse practitioner for over 20 years of her life doesn’t logically think the was she used to. I do refuse to believe that she can’t still make logical decisions. They just have to be presented in a new way.


Tell me in the comments below about how you would have handled the situation, or if you have any tips & tricks for me as I edge closer to the danger zone with my Mama.


Dementia Care / Memory Care / Home care

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Elderly Care Nursing Homes Elderly Care Services

Do Not Ask Me To Remember

Do Not Ask Me to Remember

Do not ask me to remember,

Don’t try to make me understand,

Let me rest and know you’re with me,

Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I’m confused beyond your concept,

I am sad and sick and lost.

All I know is that I need you

To be with me at all cost.

Do not lose your patience with me,

Do not scold or curse or cry.

I can’t help the way I’m acting,

Can’t be different though I try.

Just remember that I need you,

That the best of me is gone,

Please don’t fail to stand beside me,

Love me ’til my life is done.

– Owen Darnell

 


Elderly Care / Nursing Homes / Elderly Care Services

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